Are kids killing your friendships?

Some days I really can’t tell if I am a great friend or a sucky friend.


I adore my girlfriends. When I look at my phone contacts list, I see women I have loved since elementary school, sorority sisters from college, the friend who introduced me to my husband, corporate-world work friends who have become like family, and some fantastic ladies I just met last week. I am sure you are lucky enough to have this same situation. It may be a group of 5, 15, or 50 but you have a core set of women who you can always count on even if it has been years since your last conversation.

These women have seen me at my best and my worst (thank The Universe we did not have social media when I was in high school and college!) and no matter what I know I can always count on them.

I am just not sure if they know they can always count on me because of one little (BIG) thing. LIFE.

Yep, Life. Kids, specifically, have been getting in the way of my friendships. Yes, it is true that having kids has introduced me to lots of other great moms and we have a blast during play dates but the daily running, caring, and tending to kiddos is interfering with my best intentions. I desperately want my girlfriends to know how much I value them and how I think about them constantly but through all the juggling some balls just get dropped.

I still have the blank 30th birthday card for one of my dearest friends in a bin under my bed. (Sorry, Danielle. I know you turned 35 in April. I love you lots!)

I rarely make eye contact when I am talking to one of my friends in their house because I am watching my kiddos run around and I am hoping they don’t break something…or themselves.

I want to have a “real” conversation with girlfriends who don’t have kids but it is tough with a 3 year old screaming in the background and a 6 year old begging for the iPad. I want to hear how work is going for you. I am very interested in what you did last weekend. And, I’d love to plan a happy hour. I plan to call you after the kiddos go to bed and then they take an hour and a half to go to bed and then it is too late to call you or I forget because my brain is fried. 

I don’t want my girlfriends to be an afterthought. 

I am not saying that girlfriends trump kids because obviously my family is my top priority (just as yours is your #1) but I want to honor the fact that I would not be where I am in life today if it had not been for the support of my girlfriends.

They cheered me up when my heart was broken, they bailed me out in school when I forgot to study for a test (thanks, Mer!), they forgave me when I was selfish and hurt them, they helped me forgive “me” when I was holding myself to unrealistic expectations, and they inspire me daily to be the best version of myself.

My days are punctuated by funny memories, stress points, and ‘aha’ moments when I want to call my girlfriends to connect simply because I want them in that moment with me.

So because my intentions are excellent and my follow-through is hit or miss at times, I created this #HappyShot for all of my girlfriends who have helped me get where I am today. I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you again when our kids are visiting us in the old folks home and then we can drive them crazy!

HappyShot3

 

Does this remind you of one (or many) of your girlfriends? Share this #HappyShot with them today!

 

 

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